Not too long ago, I was forced to resign from my job, I was hit with a massive amount of negativity from my employer and was essentially told that I was a rotten employee. Logically, I knew this was wrong, as did my coworkers, but at the time I allowed the narrative to take over.
I began to cling to that narrative believing everything I already thought about myself, was true. It had to be since my employer was pointing those things out to me.
Because of the negativity, I got from that job, I need up in a deep dark black hole of self-pity, and the anxiety was at an all-time high. I was so far down I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
So how did I turn things around?
I turned the narrative around into something that I could control by focusing on all things that I did that marked me as a good person and a good employee. I showed up on time every day, I never took a day off, I was always prepared, I bent over backward to help my co-workers. I worked long hours when I didn’t have to, why?
Because I was asked to, and I did it with a smile.
The Voice inside my head-Blink 182
You have heard this before, the voice inside your head is evil unless it is Jiminy Cricket.
We all have this irritating little voice in our heads that loves to rain on our parades. The worst part is we usually allow the negative voice to control our lives.
Where does this voice come from, where does it get its power from?
The voice’s power comes from experiences in our everyday life. By nature, we judge and analyze everything around us. For example, when we see someone wearing boots the wrong way, and yes there is a wrong way, we start to judge them. If someone points out that we are doing something wrong, say wearing those boots, we become self-conscious and allow that narrative, that one comment to have unlimited power over us.
How Negative Self-Talk is Slowly Poisoning Your Life
Talking negatively to ourselves is a vicious cycle, and the more we tell ourselves we are not good enough, you’re a loser, you’ll just fail if you try, the larger the cycle becomes.
Negative self-talk confirms all the wild and untrue ideas you may already have about yourself. Each time you mentally repeat negative thoughts, you give power to those unture beliefs and negative ways of how you look at yourself. Over time, your negative thoughts gather power, crippling you.
Put in what you put out.
I am a firm believer that if you put negative energy into each day then you receive negativity back. Think about it, when you leave the house in a bad mood the rest of the day’s tone has been set. Then more “bad” things happen. Maybe a dog pee’s on your morning paper, or you trip and break your favorite shoe, or get jelly on your shirt right before a meeting.
Things happen, not everything is in your control but you can control the negativity you put out.
negative talk examples
- habit of being over critical
- Always expecting the worst
- Fear that history will repeat itself
A major side effect of negative self-talk is not only the issue of you being held back and not reaching your potential but also devaluing your quality of life. You deserve so much more than you allow yourself.
But you can overcome this, this is fixable!
How to stop negative talk
Look for the positive things, there are some around you. If you try something, you will always know what the outcome will be, but if you never try something you will never know and that in itself is a failure.
Remember a time when you were just learning how to do something, perhaps tying your shoes. That is a difficult skill for any kid to master, their fine motor skills are not quite there and there are so many steps.
But when you were little, and I was little, we tried and tried and were determined to figure out how to tie our shoes. (With or without an incentive).
Focus on positive thoughts, such as “I am good enough.” Or “I can do this.” Trust me you can!
Because you can.
Repeating this cycle eventually retrains your mind to look for and focus on the positive. Soon your positive thoughts will be the primary thoughts you have. Just remember you have the power over how you look at life and how you move in the world.
The way to achieve this and begin accomplishing your goals is by training that small voice inside your head to speak positively.
Comment below on how you overcome the negative self-talk. While you’re here don’t forget to sign up for our newsletter so you don’t miss out!