What is fear of failure and rejection? Do you suffer from imposter syndrome? Both of these are very real and they both prevent you from achieving your goals in life.
Where does fear of failure come from? It is easy to say we learn it but it is true. When we are children we are fearless, but we learn from adults and over time our fearlessness becomes extinct.
Over time fear of failure hinders our progress and takes control. We end up missing out on opportunities and never grow as a person either personally or professionally.
In the end, you miss out on life.
Overcome Fear of Failure and Rejection
1. Figure out Where the Fear Comes From
Have a good long conversation with yourself, perhaps keep a journal where you can gather your thoughts. Determine where your negative beliefs come from. Determine what is causing your negative beliefs so when you look at those causes you can try to understand them.
Imagine you telling your thoughts in your journal to a best friend or someone you really trust, you may realize that your fears stem from something that happened to you as a child or unknown deep-seated insecurity.
Identifying the name or source of your fear will help it to lose some of its power.
2. Redefine your ideas About achieving your Goals
When you were little, you were told you learn from your mistakes. In fact, that is still taught in school today because it is true. You have to fail at something before you can achieve success. Albert Einstein knew he was right in his theories but the world was against him. He even had a menial job at a university, which didn’t make him a professor for nine years. If he had had an all or nothing attitude he would have failed miserably and would have learned nothing.
Upon becoming a clerk at a university, Einstien realized he could complete his work with little effort leaving the rest of his day devoted to his research, see not a failure!
Developing a clear, crisp vision of what it is that you want to accomplish, including understanding that you may learn something, will help you accomplish your goal, even modify it so it is achievable.
3. Learn to Think Positive
Negative self-talk is nothing new and is something pretty much everyone does. Read all about how to overcome this from my post, How Negative Self-Talk is Slowly Poisoning Your Life
We also get some negative talk from those around us, which sometimes confirms our fears. The problem with this is we tend to either believe these things or allow them to grow like weeds.
Learning to think positive is easier than you think. When you feel that dark thought looming, begin to focus on something positive. For example, instead of thinking; I knew I couldn’t do this, I can’t do anything. Focus on the good; Ok, that was hard but I learned something, and now I know I can do this thing.
Small victories are little wins catapulting you to your goal, don’t overlook them or think they are failures.
4. Visualize positive Outcomes
When I was in my high school band, my band teacher would have us close our eyes just mere minutes before we performed. He would talk to us in a calm, steady voice and said “Visualize your performance, visualize that your performance is perfect. You will catch your flags, you will hit all the notes, etc.
At the time I thought he was nuts, but each time we did this and took it seriously we usually won or came very close to winning.
I am a firm believer that you put out certain energy and thought processes. These things are powerful, and when you put something out into the universe it hears you, and it answers you back in kind.
Taking the time to visualize how things will turn out positively will help take out the uncertainty of things, and will help you feel better. When you know you are already starting on a positive foot you can prepare for anything.
This method not only pumps you up but it helps take the fear of the unknown away. This frees you up to focus on imagining your success in life-altering choices. Knowing how something will turn out could help you from spinning your wheels.
5. Look at the Worst-Case Scenario
Sometimes you will discover that worst-case scenarios can be heart-breaking. I a lot of cases, when something bad happens the world doesn’t end.
In the entirety of your life, you must determine what is the definition of worst-case for you.
As humans, we often give situations way more power than we should. In most cases, our failures are NOT permanent.
For example when you try something new, maybe a blog, it will be a learning experience. You will make choices that don’t work, you will wonder what you are supposed to do, and what direction you should take.
But there is a learning curve, and the uncomfortableness will not last forever.
Even if you fail at one thing, it could lead you into something else. The positive takeaway from this is you already have a foundation of experience, and you know what works and what may not.
Read more from my post on How to Overcome a Set-back or Hurdle
6. Push Past Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome is when you don’t think you are capable of doing everything that you have listed on your resume or job duties. You think you are simply a con artist.
And you are not alone.
Every new situation has some level of uncomfortableness. You didn’t always know how to read, or how to get dressed, or even how to tie your shoes. But you learned.
When you began your job, be it right out of college or high school you didn’t know everything. You probably knew the basics but you didn’t know everything. That comes with doing the job, first-hand experience, and it doesn’t make you an imposter.
To push past imposter syndrome you again need to focus on what you can do instead of what you can’t do. Remember, you are allowed to learn new things.
7. Learn From What Happens
Plans are made and then they are derailed. But that does not mean you have failed. That means you have learned something, and you should have learned something.
Each “failed” situation can be a wonderful chance for you to make necessary changes and grow.
If you dig deep enough, you will discover there is a silver lining. Learning from your “failure” is an opportunity, not a crippling sentence. You can defeat your fear of failure and rejection by learning from your mistakes, addressing whatever problems you may face, and learning to focus on what you can control.
You got this!
Comment below on what has held you back, and how you plan to push past it! Don’t forget to sign up for our newsletter!